"A man was climbing up the stairs when a ghost surprised him. Now there are two ghosts." - unknown Creative Writing TU student. #twiss
— Robert D Beltran (@Pathos103) April 26, 2013
Things You Learn When You Become a Parent
Q: When is the best time to start weaning your baby from nursing?
A: Once you see teethmarks.
Q: If your baby is in its first trimester, when should it start moving?
A: With any luck, right after it finishes college.
Q: What do I tell my baby's older siblings when it's screaming?
A: That the baby fell from heaven because it was too loud for even them.
Q: What do you tell a mother who asks you to hold her baby while she berates someone else for calling it ugly?
A: "Go get them, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Q: How many diapers will it take until the baby stays clean?
A: Hahahahahahaha!
Q: When is it the right time to discuss sex with your child?
A: Preferably before you have to explain why Mommy and Daddy were wrestling in the bed when they walked in.
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