02 June 2015

What Is Chip Kelly Doing?! : This Is a Football

So, if you didn't know yet, I'm a big Philadelphia Eagles fan. It was during Super Bowl XXXIX that two major events happened in my young NFL fandom: I loved the Eagles and I despised the Patriots. In Oklahoma, there's not really any local NFL teams to root for, unless you want to live up to our reputation as the little brother of Texas or awkward cousin of Missouri (e.g. most everyone here are either Cowboys, Rams, or Chiefs fans). So, at the age of ten, I latched onto the illustrious Eagles, Donovan McNabb, Brian Westbrook, Terrell Owens (for a time) and Andy Reid despite the rest of my family being Cowgirl fans.

That team is long gone.

T.O. went to Big D and burnt out, McNabb went to We're-Not-Racist-Skins and burnt out, Andy Reid has revitalized Kansas City, Brian Dawkins retired *sniff*, Michael Vick killed some dogs then rebirthed his career in Philly then left, DJax burst onto the scene and gave us the Miracle at the Meadowlands II then took off for the Skins, Shady McCoy rocked our world then was traded to Buffalo, and Nick Foles did really well then not really well and now he's a Ram.

The latter three of those changes can be attributed to Chip Kelly, Reid's esoteric successor. In addition to those personnel changes over the last two and a half years, Kelly has dumped another young receiver in Jeremy Maclin, signed DeMarco Murray from Little D, traded for Kiki Alonso and Sam Bradford, and, oh yeah, implemented a fast-paced offense and way of practicing that keeps players in tremendous shape and lights up the scoreboard like Vegas. But with so many major alterations after the first offseason where Chip was handed complete power over personnel, the question remains: does he even know what he's doing?

In Chip We Trust (?)

Sometimes I feel like Kelly is one of us, the fans, or an avid Madden franchise mode player: wheeling and dealing, having fun shaping the roster as his own even if it means destroying a perfectly good one. I do NOT buy into McCoy's allegations that Kelly is getting rid of the "good black players", but I do questions his dealings at times. Both DeSean Jackson and Maclin worked extremely well in his offense, so I don't understand why he let them go, besides money. I understand McCoy because his playing style didn't fit, and based on the way he's been running his mouth since he left, I feel like they had a toxic relationship that would've affected the locker room.

But now that I've seen the final results of the offseason - free agency, draft and all - I can say that I see Chip's plan coming together. We lost McCoy but gained Murray, last year's NFL rushing leader and a one-cut running back made perfect for Kelly's system. In addition, we got a great young linebacker in Alonso (if he can stay healthy and recreate his rookie season) and a terrific RB2 in Ryan Mathews, former Charger starter and a similar runner to Murray, so we can lessen Murray's workload (especially after nearly carrying the ball 400 times last season and given his injury history) without missing a beat. We've now lost both Jackson and Maclin at WR, but have kept Brett Celek at TE while adding the explosive Zach Ertz, gotten some young talent with Jordan Matthews (who I expect to explode this year) and rookie Nelson Agholor at WR, and retained reliable Riley Cooper while adding veteran Miles Austin (thanks again, Dallas!). Our offensive line has never been better, with All-Pro Jason Peters and Lane Johnson (OU represent) anchoring the tackles, Pro-Bowler Evan Mathis teaming with Andrew Gardner at guard, and Jason Kelce locking down the center position. Our quarterbacks are shaky at best, but we know Mark Sanchez can do well (but always choke in the end, unsurprisingly) and Sam Bradford (former OU teammate of Johnson's) will be perfect for the system if he can get healthy and stay that way (expect LOTS of quick passes this year).

When you look at the defensive side of the ball, the front seven remains intact, showing that Kelly can and will keep a great group together, if not augment it. Pro-Bowlers Fletcher Cox, Connor Barwin and Trent Cole are ready to rip through the offensive line, NT Bennie Logan has nowhere to go but up after a terrific 2014, then Cedric Thornton and Mychal Kendricks are great athletes who should continue to do well. With the return of DeMeco Ryans and addition of Alonso at linebacker with Brandon Graham and Marcus Smith ready to rotate in, this is one electrifying group. However, we all know that defensive back was Philly's Achilles' last year, and so Chip wisely allocated more funds to this group by ejecting corners Bradley Fletcher and Cary Williams while bringing in former Legion of Boomers Walter Thurmond and Byron Maxwell. First-round rookie Eric Rowe should be ready to roll across from Maxwell, instantly transforming cornerback from an area of weakness into an area of strength. Malcom Jenkins performed tremendously at free safety last year, and should continue to lock that position down while Earl Wolff or someone fills in at strong safety. Looking at the entire team, SS is the only position that concerns me besides quarterback (which can be covered by Chip's system), so that's a plus.

The knee-jerk reaction to Kelly's flurry of action this offseason is to panic and wonder what the Chip is Kelly up to?! But by stepping back and looking at the big picture, we can see that all positions remained unchanged (QB, TE, OL, DL, kickers) or improved (RB, LB, DB), with the exception of a depleted receiving corps, which has a lot of young talent that should make the loss unnoticed within two years (maybe even less due to Kelly's system augmentation of talent at quarterback and receiver). So while I still wonder aloud whether the Eagles have improved or not since Reid's departure, for now I will trust that Chip knows what he's doing, and perhaps will lead us to that oh-so-desired Super Bowl trophy that Philadelphia has been begging for years for.

01 June 2015

Ginseng for the Soul #11








Oh, Dad, Just Shut Up Already, Please!

Dad: Hey, Joey, what time are we going to the dentist?
Joey: Uh, I don't know. When?
Dad: Tooth-hurty!

Dad: Wow, look what it says in the newspaper today about the guy who invented Lifesavers!
Joey: Huh, what's it say?
Dad: It says that he made a mint!
Joey: Ha ha.
Dad: It also says here that two peanuts were walking down the street and one was a salted!
Joey: Sigh....

Dad: Joey, you know what the bartender said to the ham sandwich after it walked into the bar and ordered a beer?
Joey: *eye roll* What, Dad?
Dad: "Sorry, sir, we don't serve food here!"

Cashier: Okay, sir, would you like the milk in a bag?
Dad: Please, no, leave it in the carton!
Joey: Dad....

Dad: Say, son, you know why chicken coops have only two doors?
Joey: I'm not sure why.
Dad: Because if they had four, then they'd be chicken sedans!

Joey: Hey, Dad, could you make me a sandwich?
Dad: Poof! You're a sandwich!
Joey: Ugh. I was thinking...
Dad: Oh, I though I smelled something burning.

Dad: Did I ever tell you about the time I worked making calendars in a factory?
Joey: No, I don't think so.
Dad: Yeah, I was fired because I took a couple of days off!

Joey: Dad, how is holy water made?
Dad: Well, son, you've got to boil the hell out of it.
Joey: No, seriously, someone in choir asked me and I want to tell him today.
Dad: Ah, don't forget a bucket when you go to choir practice tonight.
Joey: What? Why?
Dad: Well, so you can carry your tune, of course!

28 May 2015

Revisiting the Movies of 1952: Singin' in the Rain

With the end of the silent film era came the end of many careers, and although recent Best Picture winner The Artist depicts this change in medium as well, it was not the first to do so. Gene Kelly directed and starred in this timeless musical that follows a famous silent film star, Don Lockwood, as he works with his best friend, Cosmo Brown (played hilariously by Donald O'Connor), to remain relevant as sound is added alongside films.

First of all, O'Connor is a comedic genius in this film. His slapstick antics during his song "Make Them Laugh" are memorable and his chemistry with Kelly is on pace, especially during their duets such as "Moses Supposes". Kelly's actor has a false relationship with his constant costar, a diva with a horrid voice (which produces gutbusting results when they do their first "talkie"), which caricatures both old and modern Hollywood relationships, but when a woman with a great voice begins dubbing over for the diva, Kelly begins falling in love with her (played perfectly by Debbie Reynolds) and the best romantic parts of the movie happen between them.

In the end, Singin' in the Rain isn't incredibly deep or moving, but it's 100 minutes of classic fun, music, romance, and one incredibly soaked song. Enjoy!





P.S - If it's not already available at your local library, check out Singin' in the Rain on Amazon to:

1) Rent digitally for $2.99.
2) Buy on Blu-ray for $13.36.
3) Buy on DVD for $7.42.
4) Buy digitally for $9.99.


P.P.S. - Sadly, I have not yet seen High Noon, The Greatest Show on Earth, Ikiru, or The Life of Oharu, so they did not make the cut for best film of 1952.

25 May 2015

In Memorial

A nation begun from war.
Revere the messenger who brought the word;
His purpose fulfilled to they
Who relied on his diligence and heard.

We remember the men who,
Amidst bombs bursting and rockets' red glare,
Raised a tattered flag to show
Freedom of a country would still be theirs.

Men who braved the wilderness
In search of many lands and oceans wide.
Who gave their lives for a fort,
Whose name would rally a land to great pride.

But do not forget those who
Were first warred upon and destroyed wholly;
Those who gave their loves and lost,
Lost their homelands to wars numbered forty.

We honor fallen brothers
Killing and shooting their own countrymen
For freedom of truly all
And a chance for us to begin again.

Do not forget those who died
For the conquest of rocks and leaves in seas.
The islands that became foes
And joined those whom we name our enemies.

Remember French countrysides
Bathed in bloody metal, trenches and fears
Where nine million fallen
Shout: "Don't let our warning fall on dead ears!"

But the world did not listen,
And let hatred fester in their hearts yet.
Remember the slaughtered ones
Torn asunder, shredding a continent.

Beaches of ash, soot and smoke;
Soldiers slain even before they left seas.
Honor their great bravery,
Dying for liberty of all countries.

Commemorate those who fought
To free the south of another nation,
And the many later lost
To jungles of insanity and sin.

Remember deserts and forests
Far away but still in chaos and screams.
Honor those who return home
And those who come beneath a flag of dreams.

Embrace those left here with us;
The parents and children, husbands and wives.
Whether longing or mourning,
Love them in the lonely time of their lives.

Respect the long since finished
Among us every day and everywhere.
Remember what they've endured;
Listen to them when they decide to share.

Regardless of politics,
Or religion, gender, race or belief,
Remember those who gave all
To lands of the brave and homes of the free.

Ginseng for the Soul #10








Groaners (Braaaaaiiinssss)

Q: When do zombies go to sleep?

A: When they are dead tired.

Q: Why did the zombie ignore all his Facebook friends?

A: He was still digesting all of his followers on Twitter.

Q: Where do zombies eat dinner?

A: The living room.

Q: Why do zombies make good ringtones?

A: They produce lots of sound bites.

Q: How does a zombie introduce himself?

A: Pleased to eat you.

Q: What's a zombie's favorite dessert?

A: I scream.

Q: Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?

A: Because people are dying to get in.

Q: What kind of candy do zombies hate?

A: Lifesavers.

Q: What do zombies say before a fight?

A: Do you want a piece of me?

24 May 2015

Retrospection 5/18-5/23/15

Here we are, at the edge of summer. Can you make it one more week? Perhaps more? I'm ready for it to stop raining....



5/18: Ginseng for the Soul
A poem reflects on the redness of nature while a man decides he doesn't want to work for 7-UP anymore.

5/19: 451 Kindlings
Let's see just how good Robert Galbraith's first novel, The Cuckoo's Calling, really is. Oh, wait, Galbraith is J.K. Rowling?!

5/20: Nada

5/21: Throwback Thursdays
Let's continue Revisiting the Movies of 1951 with the sci fi classic The Day the Earth Stood Still.

5/22: The Should, the Could and the Empty
Oscar Isaac and company dominate the screen in Ex Machina, the newest AI sci fi thriller.

5/23: Nada (went to see a man about a monkey)



So much science fiction this week! That's fine, and that's all she wrote, if what she wrote was murder....

22 May 2015

Ex Machina: The Should, the Could and the Empty

Expecting Tomorrowland here? Me too, but it has bombed so hard in reviews that I decided to turn my attention to a different science fiction film released earlier this year.


Almost all movies about artificial intelligence use the simulated sentience as a platform with which to debate what it means to be human. 2001: A Space Odyssey used HAL to postulate that the survival instinct transforms a machine into a living thing. Her used Samantha to show that love is what makes us human, and it's a very strong force (Interstellar said something similar without using AI). But in Ex Machina, we look into how a human thinks, not what they think. So, what does it mean to be human?


First-time director Alex Garland does an outstanding job in setting up a very personal and claustrophobic film that focuses essentially on only three people: Caleb, a smart coder who is brought to an isolated facility to perform a Turing test on an AI; Ava, said AI who shows interest in Caleb beyond their small talk during the tests; and Nathan, a genius who designed the world's biggest search engine (called Bluebook, obviously referring to Google) and Ava. All three actors performed brilliantly in this film, each bringing many layers to the subtle surface of their characters. Oscar Isaac in particular (playing Nathan) blew me away with his mixture of social ineptness, alcoholism, intelligence, and a chilling sinister feel that made me debate whether he was bad or good. Domhnall Gleeson also did very well as Caleb, a man caught between two warring factions: the creator and the created. Then Alicia Vikander plays Ava perfectly: an innocent AI who is discovering her love and sexuality while Caleb must struggle with his own desires and Nathan just watches. Much like Foxcatcher last year, the three leading actors bring their A-games to this film.

Because this story takes place within a remote facility, it can be a bit slow at times, but the music keeps the suspense driving. If I could only use one word to describe this film, it'd be Atmospheric. The environment is haunting in a too-clean experiment kind of way (like the video game Portal), the characters all seem to have ulterior motives, and suspicion and paranoia dominate much of the film. I loved the screenplay, which included a few twists and turns but also had great dialogue about the human condition (a scene where Caleb describes Mary in a Gray Box was especially well done). The cinematography is very relaxed, taking its time, which I enjoyed but might turn others off. I will say there are several scenes of graphic nudity (although nothing is happening, much like people posing for an art piece) and Ava's sexual design plays a role in the story. But that should not turn anyone looking for a cerebral film, or just a great old-school sci fi. This is my second favorite film of 2015 (very close behind '71, which I will review once it becomes available to see again).


Verdict: Anyone old enough SHOULD see this film as soon as possible. Oscar Isaac is my pick for the Best Supporting Actor Oscar (ha!) this year so far.