A Normal Day: The Writer Within #1

Do you know how to say “self promotion”? I sure do, and so every month (or maybe less), I will do so by posting some of my longer poems, short stories, or previews of longer content that I have written (and hope to publish…). Enjoy!

A Normal Day

It was a normal day in Tulsa. The forecast called for cloudy skies, but that was typical.

I got up at six, as I did every morning, yawned, rolled out of bed, then immediately wished I hadn’t gotten up. I stumbled into the bathroom with dreary eyes and washed my hands. I always wash my hands whenever I wake up.

I rubbed the crust away from eyes that had formed overnight. Then I used the toilet, wiped, flushed, and washed my hands again.

I walked into the kitchen and turned off the coffee machine. It was one of those new ones that you can set so that your coffee is ready by the time you get up.

I got out a bowl of cereal and grabbed a spoon. I ate slowly as my muscles woke up.

When I finished breakfast, I cleaned up then went back to my bedroom. I made my bed, cleaned my room, and then went back into the bathroom. I showered, dressed, applied my deodorant, and finished by styling my hair with hair gel. I glanced at the clock again. Six fifty-five. Perfect.

I got my files together and put them inside my briefcase. I grabbed my iPhone and walked out the door. I got into my ’02 Nissan Maxima SE and drove off to work.

There was heavy traffic on Highway 244 into downtown, irritating me beyond belief. I honked and yelled, hoping that it would make a difference among a fleet of honking cars. I heard a whoosh overhead and leaned forward to look out the windshield. A dozen or so jets flew over the highway, creating quite a stir among we honkers. The honking stopped for about fourteen seconds before we started up again.

When I finally made it into downtown, I drove past the BOK Center on my way to the building where I worked. I spotted several homeless people sitting outside the Center, sleeping beneath newspapers and cardboard. One of them stood on the corner of the street, holding a sign that said “Anything Helps”. I felt sorry for him and lowered my window. He saw me and walked over to my car. I took out my wallet and handed him ten dollars. He stammered, “Thank ya, sir,” and walked away. I rolled up my window and drove off, feeling quite good about myself.

Work was the same as always. Phones ringing, indistinct chattering, and busybody loud-mouthing everywhere. People hustled and bustled through the aisles and ignored me as they shoved their way past. I made my way to my desk inside my cubicle and sat down. I had a cubicle near a window, but it didn’t help; it was overcast outside. The weather agitated my mood. I leaned back in my chair and took a minute to listen to the chaos around me. God, I hated my normal, everyday life.

I opened my briefcase, took out my files, and opened the first one. I read over the paperwork and then grabbed a phone. I read out the number of the client and began to dial.

I didn’t get past the third digit when I heard a resounding boom throughout the building. I quickly looked out the window.

I couldn’t see anything that had caused the loud sound. Everyone stopped in their tracks and ran over to the windows. I found my small cubicle quite occupied within several seconds. Everyone crowded around each other, eager to get a better view.

Then I saw it.

A huge mushroom cloud came up from the ground, maybe a few miles away.

I gasped as I watched rows of buildings tumble to the ground like dominoes. Some of us stared while others screamed and ran to the elevators and the stairs. I was mesmerized by the sight of building after building’s windows being blown out as a large shockwave came closer and closer to my building. Only when the windows shattered in the building across the street did I realize my danger. I jumped away from the window just in time.

The whole building jolted as the shockwave hit. I fell to the floor and heard others hit the floor as well. The part of my body that had been closest to the window was burned, but it didn’t hurt. I heard a soft snapping sound far off, followed by a whoosh. A loud screeching noise began, but quickly silenced.

A man next to me began to weep. I crawled over to him.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

“Th-th-that noise! Don’t you know what it is?!”

A boom emanated from the ground. I suddenly recognized the noise. Thank God I hadn’t taken the elevator.

A tremor hit the building as the shrieking of jets was heard flying over the city. I quickly looked out the window and saw the jets I had seen flying over the highway before. In swift pursuit behind them were a dozen fighter jets I recognized as Harriers. Even when they had passed out of view, I could still hear the sound of heavy gunfire in the distance.

I ran over to the stairs and started on my way down. When I reached the bottom, I sprinted out across the lobby. I tripped over a small piece of concrete and fell to the floor. The elevator door had been blasted open, and I could see the tip of what used to be the elevator. I quickly turned away and ran out the door. I could feel the hysteria coming on and tried to choke back the tears.

The city was just as full as it was thirty minutes ago, only now it looked different. Every window was shattered, every building was destroyed in some way, everything was covered in ash, everyone was covered in ash, and everyone was walking around in a daze, including me.

I looked back up into the sky, half-expecting a jet to crash right into me. I saw a Harrier, but it flew overhead. A pack of other jets followed it, destroying it quickly. I ran towards the river as I wondered who was in those rogue jets.

A man ran up next to me.

“Where are you going, son?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know!”

I started crying hysterically. The man slapped me and looked into my eyes.

“Follow me. I’m headed towards the BOK Center. Supposedly they have some type of shelter in case of tornadoes, but it will work just fine right now for a bomb shelter.”

“But aren’t we gonna die anyways?”

He didn’t answer.

I followed him to the Center. When we got there, I recognized the homeless man I had given money to. He was helping an officer hold back the crowd surrounding the Center.

“We are all full, folks! Find somewhere else to hide!”

I nearly collapsed to the pavement. But the homeless man spotted me and beckoned me over. I ran over to him and he pointed inside. I nodded and started to go in but he held me up and looked at me.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

I shook my head silently, but then stopped. I pointed towards his cardboard sign.

“Anything Helps”

He nodded in agreement and shoved me through the door and into the Center.

It was extremely crowded. I found that almost no one was actually inside the basement. They were all out in the arena. I turned to a man beside me and asked him why we weren’t being allowed inside the shelter.

“It’s full. The mayor and her people were the first ones to get in there and the only ones.”

I nodded glumly and curled up into a ball. Why was this happening to me?

I heard a whistle outside as fighters flew overhead. People started screaming as several bombs hit the ground outside. I looked out the door and saw the homeless man lying in the middle of the pavement, still among the other corpses. I looked up slowly and spotted a little dot headed right for us. I turned back inside.

Everyone cried and wailed as we awaited our doom. I sat back and listened to the chaos around me.

“Oh, God!” I finally cried out, “Why couldn’t I have kept my normal, everyday life??”

He didn’t answer, but a sudden turmoil stirred inside me.

Who would remember who I was?

Where was I going after death?

What existed beyond the void?

Did it matter?

I glanced at the clock. Nine o’clock even. Perfect.

The explosion deafened all else. I looked up to see the endless inferno engulf me.

Revisiting the Movies of the 1890's (Flashback Fridays #1)

Like remembering the good ol’ days of film? Me too! Let’s revisit the classics together on #FlashbackFridays, with my current series, Revisiting the Movies (which should last a little over a year).

1890’s

Arrival Of A Train At La Ciotat Station (1896)

Since I have seen very little movies before 1950, the first 6 films I will present will be for their respective decades (starting with this one). Afterwards, it will revert to single years.

Anyways, we start off this weekly presentation of Revisiting the Movies with Arrival Of A Train, a classic motion picture for establishing movies as a real form of entertainment. Although only considered a novelty at the time, the Lumière brothers, Auguste and Louis, invented the motion picture and patented it. They toured the world, showing this revolutionary new medium, but all of their work was limited to short films demonstrating the awe of motion pictures. Although they invented it, they did not understand its artistic potential, being a physicist and a manager. Nevertheless, I thank them for it.

Now to progress to the actual film, it is not of itself a wholly remarkable movie, but it frightened viewers in those early years, making many panic that the train was about to hit them in the theater! It was not the first film by the Lumière brothers, but I like it the best because of the angle of the shot. This represents the first cinematic shot of a train sweeping by the camera’s view, showing us the waving crowd and the train exiting offscreen. This angle has been used countless times since then in so many films, and yet, it all originated right here. Absolutely classic.

P.S. - Many thanks to the terrific film Hugo, by Martin Scorsese in 2011, for bringing most of these old films to my attention!

P.P.S. - If you would like to see this film, right now, click this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dgLEDdFddk

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: 451 Kindlings #1

I love to read books, so expect a book review in this spot every month. Be sure to recommend books for me to read / review, as well as any other sort of medium that I review in my blog! Who knows, I just might take requests.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

I thought that I would begin this series with my all-time favorite novel by my all-time favorite author, Mark Twain. As a reader, I always enjoy Twain’s tremendous doses of sarcasm and satire, where as a writer, I delight in his witty dialogue, Southern flair, and underlying themes. This book encompasses of all these aspects of Samuel Clemens’ writing (a.k.a. Twain).

This book is probably what ignited the racially-aware side of me in literature and film. It introduced me to a world where slaves were property and no one thought anything of it. In fact, helping a slave to escape makes the protagonist, Huckleberry Finn, wonder if his soul will go to hell for doing so. From here, I found myself drawn to books like Beloved, Long Division, 12 Years a Slave, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, all which handled racism more seriously. But none can match how direct Twain made the racism in his book while making it look funny, but in a self-reflective way. Finn’s relationship with the runaway slave Jim makes up a good majority of the book, and this chemistry has been emulated for ages since (think Django Unchained with Dr. Schultz and Django, or Schindler’s List with Stern and Schindler).

Another great facet of this novel is how Twain reveals life in the South in an old-fashioned voyage down the river. Stopping in towns here and there, events happening randomly, and a general drifting story mirror an 1800’s version of The Odyssey, with a beginning and end that are connected, but the middle mostly contains chance happenings. Something about this journey-style storytelling appeals to me, how it captures real life, since that’s really all life is: random stuff happening to people without any particular order besides that they happen after one another. That’s exactly what Twain has captured here, and while it may not be a gripping thriller, it still creates a quite enjoyable trip through the Antebellum era.

If you asked me what novel I would choose to introduce a child to a world full of danger and hate without scaring them, I would choose this. It reveals many faces of our society, even if we have now progressed nearly 300 years from this era. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has not read it yet (even though it’s been on reading lists for years). I promise that you will enjoy the journey, the characters, the story, and of course the satiric humor that Twain always brings to the table.

Best Print Edition: Paperback, Amazon, $9.45

Best Electronic Edition: Kindle eBook, Amazon, $0.99

12 Years a Slave: The Could, the Should and the Empty (Film Snob #1)

Of course I have to review movies! I will either post my take on a new film in here, or hearken back to less new movies that people may have missed, or talk about the ongoing TV shows I am watching. I will also sometimes review movies in anticipation of a new movie about to release (e.g. Sin City when Sin City 2 is about to come out).

12 Years a Slave

I shouldn’t have to write this. Everyone should already know what a wonderful film this was. Seriously. This is one of the best films of the last decade, and matches its power with that of films like Apocalypse Now or Schindler’s List. And yet, hardly anyone saw it, even with it now declared the Best Picture of 2013 by both me and the Oscars.

12 Years a Slave is based on an autobiographical novel by Solomon Northup, and follows his journey from free man of the North to kidnapped slave of the South and back. One of the astounding facets of Northup’s tale is how it still remains relevant today with a parallel to human trafficking. We’ve all seen the older slave movies or stories about the deep South (Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Django: Unchained, etc.), but I dare anyone to pick a movie that can place you so squarely into a slave’s life without pulling any punches.

This movie is beautiful. The cinematography and choice of direction of each scene speak volumes about director Steve McQueen, who has flourished since his early days as an art-piece short filmmaker. I can think of two scenes off the top of my head where the most beautiful shots coincide with the horror of slavery.

When an offended overseer attempts to lynch Solomon Northup, another seer runs him off since he’s “the master’s property” to protect. The next three minutes or so show Solomon tip-toeing to keep himself alive as he halfway-hangs from a tree. The other slaves awaken and begin walking around him, ignoring him as they complete their tasks. The beautiful summer sun hits the fauna of the Deep South marshes as it ascends and descends upon Solomon struggling with all his might not to slip and choke to death before his master returns to cut him down.

The second scene shows all of the slaves standing together over the grave of one who finally fell. They begin singing a song about “Roll, Jordan, roll,” and Solomon finally sings for the first and only time in the film. The outline of the grand white house of the master sits behind them, surrounding their poor graveyard of mud and sticks.

But one scene will always stand out to me. A ten minute shot with NO cutting follows the escalation of an argument into threatening, then one slave is forced to whip another, and for the entire scene, the camera switches between focusing on faces and their emotions or on the brutal rending of flesh. Be forewarned: this movie will not be for the faint of heart.

I cannot say enough about this movie, but every review must end. I didn’t even get to mention the terrific music, the stellar acting, and the heart-rending story. But mark my words: this will go down as the greatest film of 2014, if not the 2000’s.

Verdict: You DEFINITELY SHOULD see this movie!

P.S. – my ranking system goes from Definitely Should > Should > Probably Should > Could > Could at a Dollar Theater > Empty > Empty Inside.

NFL Free Agency: This Is a Football #1

Gotta keep football alive, even in March! Expect a monthly column in this slot to either recap a month of football, look ahead, or otherwise analyze gridiron football in a way that you never would have imagined. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.

Free Agency is a’coming to the NFL. That’s right, the time of the year when your favorite team gets torn apart, the Super Bowl teams get pilfered, and Jerry Jones pays a one-hit wonder player far too much. Let’s break down this year’s oversized money-blowing machine by stating my top 5 free agents.

5. TE Jimmy Graham, NO

I personally think that Graham is overrated. Sure, he’s been one of the best at his position the last few years, but how much of that is his skill and how much is Drew Brees and the Sean Payton throw-and-catch offense? No way the Saints let him leave, but I’m sure they could replace him if needed.

Prediction: Stays in Naw’lins for way too much.

4. ILB Donald Butler, SD

On the other end of the spectrum, I believe that Butler is one of the most underrated linebackers in a league filled with talented linebackers. While Te’o was busy dancing with his girlfriend (kinda?), Butler has made 5.5 sacks, 3 interceptions, and 4 forced fumbles in three years for the Chargers. And he’s only 25. Sure, he doesn’t make as many big plays as a Patrick Willis or Ray Lewis, but he is way too good to leave.

Prediction: Tom Telesco coughs up the big bucks to keep their best linebacker since pre-injury Shawn Merriman.

3. CB Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, DEN

I doubt that anyone was blown away by the Broncos’ secondary last year, but this is a young, playmaking corner that they NEED to keep. He was their best defensive back last year, and they can ill-afford to lose him. He’s only 27 as well, and one great return man.

Prediction: He stays in Denver for another chance at a ring, but not on a very long contract (he wants the big money and I don’t think they have it).

2. FS Jairus Byrd, BUF

Byrd has been one of the premiere playmaking safeties in the league since he exploded onto the scene in 2009 with nine interceptions. No one else in the Bills’ secondary can match his skill, and he is still young enough that he will be paid in full this year.

Prediction: The Bills do the best that they can to keep him, but I think he will go to the highest bidder unless they tag him.

1. CB Aqib Talib, NE

Are you sensing a pattern here? Defensive back has become an extremely important position in the NFL as we continue to promote passing. Just refer to the champion Seahawks to discern how important defensive backs are to a team. New England has absorbed many losses in its secondary over the years and managed to get by, but they never had a truly great corner until signing Talib last year. I’d say they can’t afford to lose him, but that is NOT the Patriot Way.

Prediction: Talib will stay for the right price (deservedly so), but I think he walks and signs with another contender (Broncos, anyone?).

Good luck to every team (except the Patriots) in either keeping a team together or building a new one! May the odds be ever in your favor (except for the Patriots).

Ginseng (for the Soul) #1

I will be posting a lovely poem (mine unless otherwise noted) and a joke every Monday in this space, so as to give an energy kick to your spirits!

[New conversation]

User: What is the root of all evil?

Cleverbot: How should I know.

Cleverbot (To myself): Because you do know. I know you do.

Cleverbot (To myself): I do know me.

Cleverbot (To myself): Then answer the question.

Cleverbot (To myself): What question?

Cleverbot (To myself): Who are you?

Cleverbot (To myself): I am me.

Cleverbot (To myself): Who is you?

Cleverbot (To myself): Me is who I am.

Cleverbot (To myself): Me is who you are?

Cleverbot (To myself): Who is I am?

Cleverbot (To myself): Me.

Cleverbot (To myself): Who are you?

Cleverbot (To myself): I don't know.

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institute of higher learning?

A: A visitor.

The Best Movies of 2013 (Flubberghast #1)

With the Academy Awards presenting their prestigious trophies tomorrow, I decided that now would be an awesome time for my first Flubberghast! Welcome to:

The Best Movies of 2013, According to Robert

This will contain all of my personal selections for the major categories of the Oscars, as well as creating a list of my favorite movies from 2013. A TL;DR will be posted at the end of this post for those without the patience to read through the entire thing.

A few disclaimers for my readers: I have not seen every movie that came out, and I did not like every acclaimed movie that came out. This list is limited to what I have seen and enjoyed, but, for perspective, I will list the movies that I have seen and disliked, then the movies that I have not seen. I did not particularly have a Best Animated Film this year because none were Oscar-worthy, but I would choose Despicable Me 2 as my personal favorite, even if it wasn’t amazing. As usual, documentaries and foreign films will be absent from this list since I have not seen any. Enjoy!

Movies That I Saw But Did Not Make the Cut

American Hustle (decent movie but WAY overrated), Captain Phillips (I liked the last 15 minutes of Tom Hanks’ acting), The Wolf of Wall Street (hilarious, but good Lord, since when did pornography become celebrated?), Blue Jasmine, The Great Gatsby, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, Iron Man 3, Ender’s Game, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Star Trek Into Darkness and Man of Steel.

Movies That I Didn’t Get a Chance to See

Philomena, Nebraska, August: Osage County, The Croods, Frozen, Lone Survivor, The Book Thief, Saving Mr. Banks and Inside Llewyn Davis.

And now, on to my favorite films as 2013, as well as who I think should win each Oscar!

Best It’s-The-End-Of-The-World-As-We-Know-It Film: Pacific Rim

As child who grew up on Godzilla movies, and the amazing Godzilla: Destroy All Monster Melee video game (GameCube), I giggled like a schoolgirl when I saw the first trailer for this movie. Directed by Guillermo del Toro, who did Hellboy and Pan’s Labyrinth? Awesome. No-name cast with an amazing cameo by Ron Perlman? Also awesome. Giant robot dragging an oil tanker down Hong Kong to fight a giant monster? Imax 3D with Real-D glasses? Amazing. I loved this movie, making it an extreme outlier among the others in this list. Decent acting, decent story, action that Transformers wishes it could recreate, and great visual effects made this my favorite disaster / exploitational film.

There were a slew of end-of-the-world movies this year, between Pacific Rim, Ender’s Game, Man of Steel and others. But this was easily tops for me.

Best Screenplay: Her

The first trailer that I saw for this movie made me really skeptical. A man who falls in love with his computer? Gimme a break. But then this movie truly blew me away. I have never seen a film that analyzes love so deeply, enwrapping in its feelings, including the ups and the downs. The emotions are heavy, the story is captivating, and the creativity pops out at every turn, whether it be through cool technological predictions or ironic reflections of our own society’s ties to our smartphones. I tip my hat to the screenwriter and director, Spike Jonze, who gave us such a unique and wonderful film.

This was a tight race between Mud and Her, since I loved Mud’s backwoods adventure a la Mark Twain, but the concrete originality of Her won in the end. Props to the intense and intricate story of Prisoners as well.

Best Ensemble Cast: 12 Years a Slave

I cannot say enough about the stellar casting in this film. This is a beautifully-made movie with wonderful music, scenery, dialogue, and story, but the acting really blew me away. It’s one of the main reasons that the movie draws you into its pre-Civil War era of slavery. Chiwetel Ejiofor performs amazingly as the lead Solomon Northup, a free man sold into slavery through kidnapping. Michael Fassbender turns in the greatest performance of his career as Northup’s second owner, the rambunctious and complex Edwin Epps. Lupita Nyong’o, Sarah Paulson, Paul Dano, Paul Giamatti and Benedict Cumberpatch all turn in great performances for their respective roles. If there’s one thing that this movie lacks, it’s a bad actor.

Prisoners, Rush and Her all vied for this spot as well, but none were able to match the perfection of 12 Years a Slave. Her would be my close second.

Best Supporting Actress: Alexandra Maria Lara (Rush)

Surprised? Don’t be! Lara performed wonderfully as Marlene Lauda in this intense rivalry racing film. While Chris Hemsworth kills it as the flamboyant James Hunt and Daniel Brühl shocks as the dedicated Niki Lauda, Marlene sits on the side and transforms Niki. The race scenes and story of this movie were amazing, making it easily my favorite racing movie since Gone in 60 Seconds. Just watch Niki Lauda change from a shy yet stubborn man who thinks only of winning races to a devoted husband who loves his wife more than the sport that he has devoted his life to. It moved me and made the movie that much more enjoyable. So I congratulate Lara on winning this unnominated Oscar!

Nyong’o from 12 Years a Slave and Amy Adams from Her both did fantastic in their roles, but I went with this dark horse because I felt that she truly deserved it more.

Best Visual Effects: Gravity

There was no way in hell that this wasn’t going to win Visual Effects. Gravity absolutely enthralled me, becoming my most-watched theater film of the year (three visits). I watched this all three times in 3D, with a final time in Imax where I was captivated. This is about the experience of being in space, and all of the tension and terror that it entails. But beyond the groundbreaking effects (seriously, we’re talking 2001-groundbreaking, complete mastery of the 3D element that Avatar brought to us), the story of a mother and her own self-fulfillment also touched me, making a great movie even greater. Alfonso Cuarón, you have officially created your masterpiece.

Pacific Rim was pretty sweet and Rush had some intense car wrecks, but nothing can compare to the experience of feeling like you are literally in space looking back at Earth.

Best Supporting Actor: Jake Gyllenhaal (Prisoners)

Another curveball! I am sure that many of you were expecting Jared Leto or Michael Fassbender here, but my money goes to the young officer of Prisoners, Detective Loki. In a true mystery thriller, filled with dark overtones, red herrings, and Se7en-esque story twists, Gyllenhaal really stood out to me as a great character. The passion for justice, refusal to quit, and dogged perseverance of his emotionally unstable detective all drive his storyline, even as the incredibly spiritual and emotional side of Hugh Jackman’s story plays out. I loved the themes of “How far would you go to save your child?” and “What does it take to break a person’s faith?” that are embodied in Jackman, a man whose child goes missing, but Gyllenhaal takes the cake as the man whose destiny was to find that child, or die trying.

As mentioned above, I easily could have gone with Leto as the surprisingly interesting crossdresser from Dallas Buyers Club or Fassbender as the aforementioned slave owner. Jonah Hill also surprised me quite a bit in The Wolf of Wall Street, but Gyllenhaal put so much emotion and energy into his role that I could not do anything but give him an Oscar, without even being nominated.

Best Sound Effects: The Conjuring

I, just, I had to. I had to. This was the first R-rated horror film that I had ever seen, and for good reason. I hate horror films. H-A-T-E. But this one had a great story that follows a family who moves into a haunted house (typical) and must call upon the help of a married couple of demon hunters. It sounds awfully cheesy, but it honestly had great characters, great acting, terrific music, wonderful cinematography, and some extremely creepy parts. No gore at all, which was a HUGE plus for me. But the reason this gets Best Sound Effects is due to the use of silence, noise, and objects moving throughout the movie. No other movie this year completely dominated your audial senses like this one did.

My next best choice for this spot would be Gravity or Rush, but neither used sounds quite like The Conjuring. And so we have our third Oscar-winner without a nomination.

Best Cinematography: 12 Years a Slave

Have you ever seen a moment in life where you wish you could capture it, but a picture just doesn’t quite do it justice? Steve McQueen, the director of 12 Years a Slave, does exactly that not once, not twice, but three times within this movie. A group of slaves standing in the fields preparing to work, a man searching the woods with his eyes and longing for any sign of hope, and a group of mourners gathered around a freshly-dug grave to sing over their lost friend. This, combined with a number of awesome scenes with beautiful scenery, capture the artistry of McQueen that he has finally manifested on a large-scale after many short art films.

Rush had the best racing cinematography that I have ever seen. Gravity had the most chilling views of space and an awe-inspiring 10 minute shot to start the movie. Her used the camera to portray abstract feelings in a tangible way in unique methods. But 12 Years a Slave is one of those movies that come along every ten years or so that can truly push a film beyond the realm of entertainment and into art.

Best Leading Actress: Sandra Bullock (Gravity)

It’s not very often that I can say that I enjoyed a Sandra Bullock movie. I can name two: Miss Congeniality and The Blind Side. Otherwise, she’s a pretty ordinary actress. But put her on a stage all by herself with a good script and great visual effects, and she becomes a goddess. Her portrayal of Dr. Ryan Stone, a scientist who becomes stranded in space during a mission gone awry, honestly moved me. She has to deal with catastrophic debris, the deaths of her friends, and the constant danger of suffocation or immolation. And yet, the small yet poignant story about her own personal loss and how she comes to reconcile with it became one of the best parts of the movie for me. Sandra, I hope you enjoy this well-deserved Oscar (I think her second, from Blind Side).

Scarlett Johansson as the voice of Samantha in Her was seductive and curious, while Vera Farmiga was intense and intelligent in The Conjuring. But neither of them stood a chance against the Bull-God-ock (hehe).

Best Music: Her

This was close. This was really frickin’ close. Gravity had my vote all year long until this film came out. Her had just beautiful music, including several piano melodies and one of the best ukulele songs since the Hawaiian version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. But what really got me was not only how pretty the music was, but how it really influenced the mood. It showed you how music has tied into our everyday lives now, and its rise and fall reflects our own. Color me impressed by the artistry that went into the composition of this movie’s music.

As I said, Gravity would have been IT if this movie hadn’t come along. Gravity used its music to set the tension to every scene, including a terrifying sequence involving debris flying silently behind Bullock as we hope she notices in time (there is no sound in space). But Her’s originality (once again) and peacefulness won over Gravity’s terror.

Best Director: Jeff Nichols (Mud)

We finally get to the movie that was my favorite of the year for at least six months. Mud follows the story of a preteen boy who must deal with the divorce of his parents while attempting to help an outlaw escape from the law. So many scenes of this film reminded me of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which is a great compliment, since that just so happens to be my favorite book of all time. The characters, the story, the Southern landscape, and a powerful message on love, and when to let go of it, made this an instant American classic, and hopefully it will be recognized as such one of these days. But Jeff Nichols wins Best Director here because he not only directed this great movie, but spent almost twelve years working on the script, perfecting it, and then creating his masterpiece from his own sweat-and-blood script. If that doesn’t gain your respect, I truly don’t know what will.

Steve McQueen and Alfonso Cuarón obviously both could have easily been placed in this spot for reasons explained, and Spike Jonze (Her), Denis Villeneuve (Prisoners) and Ron Howard (Rush) also get honorable mentions. It was a year filled with wonderful directors, and this could be considered an off-year without my Big Three directors, Quentin Tarantino, Christopher Nolan and David Fincher, releasing any new films! But Nichols will take home our fourth unannounced Oscar nomination because, as a fellow writer, he has earned an extra level of respect in my mind for his devotion.

Best Leading Actor: Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

I have Dallas Buyers Club in the caption after his name, but McConaughey could have easily taken home the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his roles in Mud or The Wolf of Wall Street. He cameos in The Wolf of Wall Street as a big-shot stockbroker with some eccentricities (which are HILARIOUS) that pushes DiCaprio’s character down his own destructive path. Then he plays the title role of Mud as an outlaw who has been chased across the United States because of his own love (which he clings to although he should let go) for a woman who has become little more than a whore. But this movie became the cherry on top for a terrific year for McConaughey.

In Dallas Buyers Club, he gives a skinny, decrepit man who learns that he has AIDS during the 80’s, which causes him to lose all of his friends (calling him a dirty faggot) and any chance of living (with no cure or treatment during that time, he was given a few weeks). With nowhere else to go, he rounds up as many AIDS victims as he can in order to purchase “illegal goods” with which to treat themselves while the FDA does everything they can to cut them off (and let them die). This film really shows how corrupt even our medical system can be and how horribly we treated homosexuals back then (or even now). Ron Woodroof (McConaughey) goes from a hillbilly who spits on them to a man with a genuine friendship with a crossdresser (portrayed wonderfully by Jared Leto) who would do anything to save or protect his friend. I cannot say enough about the year that Matthew has had without putting off what is rightfully his: the very first Oscar of his, to place alongside his Golden Globe.

As I talked about in Best Ensemble Cast, Chiwetel Ejiofor turned in what will be known as a legendary role as Solomon Northup in 12 Years a Slave, while Leonardo DiCaprio brought an incredible energy to his role as the illustrious Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street. Hugh Jackman was invigorating in Prisoners as a father who will stop at nothing to rescue his daughter, and Joaquin Phoenix had hands-down the best performance of his career in Her. But McConaughey had not one, not two, but THREE great roles this year in acting. That earns you the Oscar in my book.

Best Picture: 12 Years a Slave

Alright, I guess this one was a bit more predictable than some of my other categories. But so what? I loved this movie. I seriously doubt that I have seen a movie this great in the last ten years since The Dark Knight, which happens to be at the top of my all-time list. And I have already laid out the reasons for this movie’s greatness in the Best Cinematography and Best Ensemble Cast categories, but I will do my best to add to them.

Acting = Cinematography = Story = Directing = Perfect.

I already said how astounding the acting was, how beautiful the cinematography was, and how expertly directed it was. But the story happens to be one of the most interesting parts of the movie. As Solomon Northup plunges from free man to slave, we witness all the horrors of slavery. A man kidnapped from his family and home and forced to perform hard labor under harsh conditions. A woman ripped away from her children as they are each sold off to different owners. A slave forced to whip another because his master cannot do it himself, and yet his wife urges him to do so. Everything tugs at your heart, and when the film finally reaches its conclusion, if you do not have one single tear in your eyes, then you have no soul and should not be reading this blog, because you need to be looking for a priest or a psychologist or something. And then the music fits perfectly with each scene, but did we really expect anything less from the legendary Hans Zimmer? My favorite song was during a funeral ceremony, all the slaves start singing Roll Jordan Roll, with even Solomon joining in for his only singing in the entire film.

I cannot emphasize enough how life-changing this movie was for me. It opens your eyes to just how horrid it was to be a slave, and how horrid it even is today. McQueen expertly crafts a comparable story that we can hold up to the current world and the ongoing sex trade. He even delves into the slave women who must sleep with their masters to be able to have an semblance of a normal life, which I’m sure happens all over the world to women, with or without their permission. If Schindler’s List was one of your favorite films from the 90’s, then this film is for you. If you cry when Bambi’s mom gets shot, then I would say this film is not for you, but I want everyone to see this, so I say toughen up!

Mud and Gravity both held this spot for several months, and Her almost did as well. But in the end, amongst a year of instant classics for generations to come (all three that I just named certainly are), 12 Years a Slave became the classic among classics, and deservedly wins my Oscar for the Best Picture of 2013.

TL;DR

1.      12 Years a Slave (Best Picture, Best Cinematography, Best Ensemble Cast)

2.      Her (Best Screenplay, Best Music)

3.      Mud (Best Director)

4.      Gravity (Best Leading Actress, Best Visual Effects)

5.      Prisoners (Best Supporting Actor)

6.      Rush (Best Supporting Actress)

7.      Dallas Buyers Club (Best Leading Actor)

8.      Pacific Rim (Best It’s-The-End-Of-The-World-As-We-Know-It Film)

9.      The Conjuring (Best Visual Effects)

I hope you enjoyed reading through all of my many words about movies! Please leave your comments below, voicing good or bad opinions! I always want to know what other people think of movies. 2013 was a phenomenal year for film enthusiasts everywhere, even if most of the blockbuster movies turned out meh.

YOU’VE BEEN FLUBBERGHASTED!