Ginseng for the Soul #11

People weep and people sing. But no one gets to hear a thing. People laugh and people cry. But no one gets to say goodbye. c) RDB #twisp

— Robert D Beltran (@Pathos103) May 23, 2013

Oh, Dad, Just Shut Up Already, Please!

Dad: Hey, Joey, what time are we going to the dentist?
Joey: Uh, I don't know. When?
Dad: Tooth-hurty!

Dad: Wow, look what it says in the newspaper today about the guy who invented Lifesavers!
Joey: Huh, what's it say?
Dad: It says that he made a mint!
Joey: Ha ha.
Dad: It also says here that two peanuts were walking down the street and one was a salted!
Joey: Sigh....

Dad: Joey, you know what the bartender said to the ham sandwich after it walked into the bar and ordered a beer?
Joey: *eye roll* What, Dad?
Dad: "Sorry, sir, we don't serve food here!"

Cashier: Okay, sir, would you like the milk in a bag?
Dad: Please, no, leave it in the carton!
Joey: Dad....

Dad: Say, son, you know why chicken coops have only two doors?
Joey: I'm not sure why.
Dad: Because if they had four, then they'd be chicken sedans!

Joey: Hey, Dad, could you make me a sandwich?
Dad: Poof! You're a sandwich!
Joey: Ugh. I was thinking...
Dad: Oh, I though I smelled something burning.

Dad: Did I ever tell you about the time I worked making calendars in a factory?
Joey: No, I don't think so.
Dad: Yeah, I was fired because I took a couple of days off!

Joey: Dad, how is holy water made?
Dad: Well, son, you've got to boil the hell out of it.
Joey: No, seriously, someone in choir asked me and I want to tell him today.
Dad: Ah, don't forget a bucket when you go to choir practice tonight.
Joey: What? Why?
Dad: Well, so you can carry your tune, of course!