Gains and Losses of NFL Teams: This Is a Football #2

With the NFL free agency in the books, there’s only one thing left to do for every Raiders fan: cry.

As usual.

Moving on, we now have a general sense of how the veteran rearrangement has shifted power, or rather, how it hasn’t, and which teams really, really need a good draft this year (I’m looking at you, Oakland). So let’s break down the biggest loss and biggest gain for all 32 teams this year (only one player per category per team): 

Arizona Cardinals

Gain: Jared Veldheer was a phenomenal signing for a team that has had a revolving door at the left tackle position for years. Too bad, Raiders fans.

Loss: Karlos Dansby had a great return year with the Cardinals, and immediately left town to cash in again. I don’t care what head coach Bruce Arians says, that is going to hurt that great defense.

Atlanta Falcons

Gain: Paul Soliai alone adds major muscle to this terrible defensive line, and should help turn around one of the worst run defense in the NFL.

Loss: Pbbt, Asante Samuel? Yeah, really, not much lost here. But is that really a good thing for a team that finished the season 4-12?

Baltimore Ravens

Gain: Steve Smith will provide fire, grit, and a safety blanket to Joe Flacco’s receiving corps, something that was sorely missed last season when Anquan Boldin was traded away.

Loss: James Ihedigbo strikes me as the best player of the many who left the Ravens this year, and he was just a decent safety. I really think they will turn around this year with a solid draft.

Buffalo Bills

Gain: Brandon Spikes at linebacker will really… No, they really didn’t do anything. I feel like this should be just normal to Buffalo fans. Sorry.

Loss: Jairus Byrd has become the greatest safety in the NFL, on par with Earl Thomas. Buffalo’s defense might actually win them some games… Aaaaaand he’s gone.

Carolina Panthers

Gain: Jerricho Cotchery? I mean, he’s a good receiver, but only as a complementary piece. Who’s he here to complement? Tiquan Underwood?

Loss: Just about every receiver on the team. I’m still waiting for the rim shot. This has to be a bad joke. In other news, a new river flowing out of Charlotte has been dubbed Tears of the Newton.

Chicago Bears

Gain: Lamarr Houston should provide just the pass rush that Chicago needed, combined with the plethora of other defensive linemen that they signed (Jared Allen, Israel Idonije, Willie Young).

Loss: Henry Melton has become one of the best defensive tackles in the league, and no large amount of signings will be able to replace his disruption.

Cincinnati Bengals

Gain: Uh, Jason Campbell, I guess. Decent backup quarterback. Whoo hoo.

Loss: Michael Johnson had really become a great defensive end for the Bengals, and nothing tells me that they are ready to deal with his loss.

Cleveland Browns

Gain: Ben Tate will provide a much-needed presence at the running back position for team quarterback (insert here). But hey, losing Brandon Weeden could also be considered a gain.

Loss: T.J. Ward to Donte Whitner? D’Qwell Jackson to Karlos Dansby? Both downgrades and loss of youth. Tsk tsk.

Dallas Cowboys

Gain: Henry Melton will make everyone forget about Jason Hatcher, and immediately makes this defensive line solvent again.

Loss: DeMarcus Ware has been a great player for many years in Big D, and why Jerry Jones let him go, I will never understand. He has fully convinced me of his idiocy.

Denver Broncos

Gain: Jeez, who do you pick?? I guess I’ll choose Aqib Talib, an elite cornerback that proved his mettle in New England last year and should bolster a secondary that has become notorious for giving up the big play.

Loss: I guess Eric Decker, but he was really just a role player anyways. A role that ex-Steeler Emmanuel Sanders should be more than capable of filling. Broncos fans, the world is your oyster.

Detroit Lions

Gain: Golden Tate was a great pickup for a team that has been searching for a complementary receiver to All-Pro Calvin Johnson for years. He should immediately boost Matt Stafford’s numbers (even more).

Loss: Both Willie Young and Israel Idonije, defensive linemen, bolted to the rival Bears. That hurts, even with Ndamokung Suh there to piledrive any opposition.

Green Bay Packers

Gain: Julius Peppers will bring help to a maligned pass rush, which will also have Clay Matthews returning. He may be old, but I think he has some gas left in… No, just forget it. What a freaking cliché.

Loss: Jermichael Finley will be sorely missed at tight end, even with Aaron Rodgers still at quarterback. I expect that he actually shed tears when he received the news.

Houston Texans

Gain: Kendrick Lewis has been a very good defensive back in this league for several years now, and should provide quality play at the safety position.

Loss: Antonio Smith really helped J.J. Watt to perform greatly over the last few years, and the lack of that kind of distraction will hurt the Texans this year.

Indianapolis Colts

Gain: D’Qwell Jackson has been a terrific linebacker for years, and will immediately toughen this defense.

Loss: Any running back not named Trent Richardson, namely Donald Brown, is considered a major loss in my book. I can see the headlines already: Richardson sets NFL record for most carries for one yard!

Jacksonville Jaguars

Gain: Zane Beadles comes from a dominant O-line in Denver to bolster the shoddy blocking of this front (as well as provide room for new running back Toby Gerhart).

Loss: Maurice Jones-Drew may be at the tail end of a magnificent career, but he is a proven veteran, versus Toby Gerhart being a career backup to Adrian Peterson. I don’t see how this isn’t a loss.

Kansas City Chiefs

Gain: Joe Mays is a good middle linebacker who should help alleviate the losses that the Chiefs defense suffered this offseason.

Loss: Brandon Albert. Tyson Jackson. Geoff Schwartz. Dexter McCluster. Ouch. Barring a stellar draft, I see the Chiefs backsliding this year from playoff contention. That’s just too much talent to lose in one year.

Miami Dolphins

Gain: Cortland Finnegan is honestly the best player that I can see that joined the Dolphins. And we all know what a wonderful year he just had in St. Louis.

Loss: Paul Soliai has rightfully gained a reputation as the best nose tackle in the league, and the Fins will be hard-pressed to be able to replace his monstrous presence.

Minnesota Vikings

Gain: Linval Joseph was a great addition from the Giants, and should immediately solidify the center of this defensive line.

Loss: Jared Allen will be heading to the Hall of Fame once he ends his great career, and this pass rush will suffer tremendously from his loss.

New England Patriots

Gain: Darrelle Revis trumps all problems in a secondary. The number one receiver of any opposing team against the Pats can now be considered gone. Revis Island, man.

Loss: I guess Aqib Talib would be considered a loss, but that’s sort of like mourning the loss of your Cadillac when it gets replaced with a Ferrari.

New Orleans Saints

Gain: Jairus Byrd was one of the biggest signings in free agency this year, and will immediately form an unstoppable tandem with Kenny Vaccaro. Rob Ryan must be eating so many Cheetos in celebration.

Loss: Darren Sproles has done amazing for the Saints ever since his signing, and although his touches will be spread out among several running backs, I’m sure that he will be missed.

New York Giants

Gain: Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie will solidify a porous secondary, something that has been need in New York for a long time.

Loss: Justin Tuck, Super Bowl legend, is gone. Osi Umenyiora proved GM Jerry Reese wrong when he performed well for the Falcons, so I think that Reese may end up regretting this defensive end loss as well.

New York Jets

Gain: Mark Sanchez is gone. I mean, yeah, they also signed Michael Vick, but read that again. Mark Sanchez is gone.

Loss: Antonio Cromartie was the Jets’ only legitimate cornerback. I’d say that they’d play a receiver at corner, but they have none of those either (I guess Eric Decker, but  meh). Expect a lot of 9-11 man blitzes from Rex Ryan this year. I honestly think that GM John Idzik is no longer trying to make a good team anymore, and just wants to get Ryan fired ASAP.

Oakland Raiders

Gain: Matt Schaub is much better than I think people give him credit for, and he should be revitalized in new territory. Poor guy has never experienced free agency (he’s only ever been traded).

Loss: Jared Veldheer. Lamarr Houston. These are young players that the Raiders have pretended that they replaced with an influx of fading veterans. Methinks that GM Reggie McKenzie might be on the chopping block very, very soon.

Philadelphia Eagles

Gain: Frickin’ Darren Sproles combined with LeSean McCoy?! That’s just unfair for opposing defenses. I am stoked to see this Chip Kelly offense in action next year!

Loss: DeSean Jackson was a major loss to this offense, even if it could be considered a gain to the locker room. I’ll always miss your highlights, DJax. R.I.P. Miracle at the Meadowlands II.

Pittsburgh Steelers

Gain: Mike Mitchell was a safe pickup at strong safety who should do very well to replace the veteran Ryan Clark. This was a long time coming.

Loss: Emmanuel Sanders will leave a hole a wide receiver, especially with Jerricho Cotchery gone as well, but Lance Moore should help alleviate these losses. That and a couple of rookies.

St. Louis Rams

Gain: Shaun Hill has proven to be a reliable backup quarterback, and should make head coach Jeff Fisher that much more secure behind Sam Bradford.

Loss: Oh no, Cortland Finnegan left. Hmm. Who cares? No one? Alright.

San Diego Chargers

Gain: Kellen Clemens will provide great depth to the quarterback position behind revived starter Philip Rivers. Definitely an upgrade over Charlie Whitehurst.

Loss: I suppose Derek Cox? Not exactly a wonderful cornerback, but hey, a loss is a loss. I guess.

San Francisco 49ers

Gain: Antoine Bethea will be an upgrade over Donte Whitner, both with youth and finances. But their skill set really has no separation.

Loss: Carlos Rogers AND Tarell Brown? Oof, not good news for a steady defense that might very well decline next year.

Seattle Seahawks

Gain:  Uh, they kept Michael Bennett? Seriously, they didn’t sign anyone.

Loss: Chris Clemons. Red Bryant. Golden Tate. Breno Giacomini. Seattle has really been raided by the league this year, and will find a return to the Super Bowl to be very difficult indeed.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Gain: Alterraun Verner set the league on fire last year as a phenomenal cornerback for the Titans and should boost a poor secondary from last season.

Loss: There’s no way Verner will be better than Darrelle Revis, however. That’s just a tough loss.

Tennessee Titans

Gain: Charlie Whitehurst? This year’s crop of signings confuses me. Isn’t the NFL about winning?

Loss: Alterraun Verne. Ryan Fitzpatrick. David Stewart. Three very talented players, all gone. Mike Munchak, I look forward to watching you coach up some other team’s offensive line next season.

Washington Redskins

Gain: Jason Hatcher is honestly their best signing, and I doubt that he will do even close to as good as he did at Dallas. I smell an Albert Haynesworth scenario here.

Loss: Josh Wilson had really become a good cornerback for the ‘Skins, but I doubt that they’ll be missing him anytime soon with the comparable Tracy Porter in town.

So now you know whether your favorite team did amazing (Broncos bandwagoners) or terrible (Raiders diehards) in the free agency, and how you should generally expect them to do. But be warned: the winner of free agency almost never wins the Super Bowl (ahem, Jerry Jones). Only one more long month before the draft, and then we can determine how well each team did overall during this offseason. Until then, good luck everyone, and try your best not to suck!

And to the Carolina, Oakland, Dallas, and Houston fans: I am truly sorry for the season that you are about to endure.